Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
