Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
