if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
