Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I need a beard to bite.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
