I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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