We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
