in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
How drunk are you?
Completed.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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