If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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