you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
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