I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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