do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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