I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
