youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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