I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize