I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
