i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
