It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
