Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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