i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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