you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
