my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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