Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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