you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
