At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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