So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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