i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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