if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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