Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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