Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
