3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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