very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
