My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize