there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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