I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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