Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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