I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
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