He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
