I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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