ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
