You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
