The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
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