Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize