It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
he shaved USA in his pubs
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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