Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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