I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
