He kissed a someone with a penis
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
