You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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