I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
