What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
