I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
