i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
