its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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